Some Updates on Me

I've been a bad blogger.  In 6 short months (man, this year is going by fast), I've gone from posting more than once a day to posting once every couple of weeks.  Boo.  And it's not that I'm not interested in blogging, I come up with ideas for posts all of the time...I just never write them, for many of the same reasons that caused me to start this blog in the first place.  Fear.  "Not having enough time", although I'm sure that the time that I spend at 1am playing my Monopoly app when I can't go to sleep would be better spent blogging.  Depression.  I've been, more than likely, clinically depressed since I was 14, but it tends to be very mild, with occasional dips, which I think is what I'm experiencing now.  I've excused the mildness as a reason to not get treatment, but now that I'm in the position to afford to do so (more on that later), I'm going to.  The depression makes my head feel very cloudy - I can't concentrate on doing any one thing well, not at work or in my personal life, which makes me frustrated and even more depressed.  Anyway, I'm going to try to jump back in the saddle and blog more often.

I've joined a gym.  The St. Charles Ave. Athletic Club, in fact.  A friend of mine and her husband go there, and for the past month I've been going 4 times a week for about 30 - 45 minutes.  Once I get a license and a scooter, I'd like to go for at least an hour, but for now, I have a bus to catch home.  More and more often I'm frustrated with the limitations to my access to transportation.  Even if I had a bike, I wouldn't want to ride it from the gym home, not with the drivers in the city.  I'm kind of afraid to weigh myself - I don't think that I've lost any weight, and my goal was 5 pounds per month until I'm down to 125lbs, which makes more sense for my small frame.  I'm eating healthier than I ever have, except for my weakness for sugar and chocolate.  I have some sort of chocolate snack at least once a day, and even though it's not processed junk, I'm thinking that I'd do better to limit things like that to once a week and substitute my chocolate pastry cravings for something better, like an ounce of semi-sweet chocolate, which I recently discovered that I like better than milk chocolate.

It's those eyes...
The New Orleans Film Festival is going on for the next week, and they're showing a lot of great movies.  One of them is Night Catches Us, starring Kerry Washington and Anthony Mackie.  Anthony Mackie is from here, and will be at the opening of his movie tomorrow night.  I've had such a crush on him since She Hate Me, which featured many scenes of him nekkid and screwing...if I was feeling prettier, I'd totally go for it, although Google won't tell me if he's single.  He's very talented, I hope he gets all of the kudos and work that he deserves in the future.  I've also developed a girl-crush on Kerry Washington, she reminds me very much of Angelina Jolie, super sexy (not just sexy looking, like most young actresses) and capable of playing cool and calm or completely unhinged with amazing ease...maybe someone needs to cast her in an action film for her to get recognition that she deserves, although I've noticed her bagging more and more movies lately.

I'm not an AmeriCorps member any more.  I wasn't aware that I wasn't eligible for the education award this year - remaining with them would have meant loosing 1/3 of what isn't actually considered "income".  So I'm now a full on employee of PNOLA, which works out better for me.  I have a great health care plan now, and can afford the aforementioned treatment for the depression that's plagued me for so long.  I think 2011 is going to be the year that my life improves drastically, and I start achieving goals left and right.  It's been a slow build since 2007 - things are much better then they were then, or even just last year - but I can see things improving exponentially over the next year.  I can't wait.

1 comment:

bayoucreole said...

You aren't a bad blogger. You do what you can, when you can. I do hope you seek help for the depression...I did. It makes a difference.