Email Winking

I totally "Hey boy, heyyyyy"'d someone via email earlier this evening.  I was supposed to ask him out in person, I told my friends that I was going to do it, and then I chickened out.  But the good thing about telling my friends that I was going to do it was that it forced me to do it anyway BY ANY MEANS NECESSARY.  I think that term must always be written in all caps, even when it refers to something as unimportant as my dating life and not the revolution.  Anyway, I don't expect a response until later tomorrow, but I'm obviously hoping for a yes, and eventual naked sexytimes.

NOPD Declares War on Sex Workers

Really?

Calling prostitution "a dangerous, violent crime," NOPD Police Chief Ronal Serpas announced today that New Orleans police had arrested 67 sex workers in the months of July and August in an undercover operation that also involved State Police, the FBI and the Secret Service.

...

Chief Serpas' official statements further demonized the sex workers, accusing them of nearly every crime short of terrorism. "We find time and time again that women and men who actively participate in prostitution tend to commit other crimes," claimed Serpas. "Such as some form of battery, simple robbery, armed robbery, illegal drug deals, or carrying concealed weapons. In some cases, customers of prostitutes find that their wallets have been lifted, which means bank card theft and sometimes stolen identity cases. This is why it’s an incredibly worthwhile effort to target people involved in the prostitution business."

But the men who solicit prostitutes are fine, upstanding citizens? Also, this is just lazy. How many open cases involving robbery, drugs, and weapons are sitting open on the books right now, unlikely to be solved by a few out of hundreds of sex workers being arrested? How about dealing with the fact that if you look at the rate of conviction in this city, murder and especially rape (a crime that sex workers are vulnerable to - I wonder how seriously the NOPD takes that violent crime when it's committed against a prostitute) are barely crimes. I could kill someone right now, do the bare minimum to cover it up, and I'm guessing that there would be about a 25% chance that I'd be arrested and convicted. I once had to call the police for a rape in progress (some asshole was raping a young woman on the porch across the street from my office. At 9am. Yeah.) Never saw a cop. If I ever see something like that again I'll just stab him with my switchblade, since I probably won't get caught anyway (another problem - cops don't give a damn when Black men are killed).

And I know why they're suddenly concerned about this issue. I get the crime alerts from the French Quarter district - tourists are soliciting "prostitutes" and getting ambushed and robbed. Of course, the alerts don't actually say that. I remember one from a few months ago where the victim met two (unknown) women - one black, one white - in Jackson Square. They headed somewhere to "hang out", he got into an SUV with them (remember, he just met these ladies), that was being driven by a man, and of course, after some dramatics involving a gun, ended up exiting the SUV a little while later sans wallet. He also, presumably, didn't get to be apart of that interracial threesome that he was after. Yes, he's a victim because they had no right to liberate his wallet, but ... really? He had intended to hire two women to engage in an illegal act with him. That makes him a criminal too, even if he was some middle class white tourist. Also, since fucking did not actually occur ... the ladies were not really sex workers anyway.

I guess what I'm saying is that even if some of these sex workers are connected to other crimes, this city has so many other more important crimes to deal with that effect whether or not people choose to live here. Yeah, a tourist who got tricked into getting robbed might not come back and the city loses money, but not as much money as it loses when people with middle and upper class incomes decided that they're aren't going to move here, or people who've been here for generations decided to pick up and leave because they can't guarantee that they're not going to get caught in a crossfire, or no one will take their daughter's rape seriously. I don't think those people are worried about being victimized by prostitutes.

Also, the oldest profession in the world is a "dangerous and violent crime"? Get the fuck out of here. Sex workers experience much more danger and violence than their Johns do.

Some Updates on Me

I've been a bad blogger.  In 6 short months (man, this year is going by fast), I've gone from posting more than once a day to posting once every couple of weeks.  Boo.  And it's not that I'm not interested in blogging, I come up with ideas for posts all of the time...I just never write them, for many of the same reasons that caused me to start this blog in the first place.  Fear.  "Not having enough time", although I'm sure that the time that I spend at 1am playing my Monopoly app when I can't go to sleep would be better spent blogging.  Depression.  I've been, more than likely, clinically depressed since I was 14, but it tends to be very mild, with occasional dips, which I think is what I'm experiencing now.  I've excused the mildness as a reason to not get treatment, but now that I'm in the position to afford to do so (more on that later), I'm going to.  The depression makes my head feel very cloudy - I can't concentrate on doing any one thing well, not at work or in my personal life, which makes me frustrated and even more depressed.  Anyway, I'm going to try to jump back in the saddle and blog more often.

I've joined a gym.  The St. Charles Ave. Athletic Club, in fact.  A friend of mine and her husband go there, and for the past month I've been going 4 times a week for about 30 - 45 minutes.  Once I get a license and a scooter, I'd like to go for at least an hour, but for now, I have a bus to catch home.  More and more often I'm frustrated with the limitations to my access to transportation.  Even if I had a bike, I wouldn't want to ride it from the gym home, not with the drivers in the city.  I'm kind of afraid to weigh myself - I don't think that I've lost any weight, and my goal was 5 pounds per month until I'm down to 125lbs, which makes more sense for my small frame.  I'm eating healthier than I ever have, except for my weakness for sugar and chocolate.  I have some sort of chocolate snack at least once a day, and even though it's not processed junk, I'm thinking that I'd do better to limit things like that to once a week and substitute my chocolate pastry cravings for something better, like an ounce of semi-sweet chocolate, which I recently discovered that I like better than milk chocolate.

It's those eyes...

The New Orleans Film Festival is going on for the next week, and they're showing a lot of great movies.  One of them is Night Catches Us, starring Kerry Washington and Anthony Mackie.  Anthony Mackie is from here, and will be at the opening of his movie tomorrow night.  I've had such a crush on him since She Hate Me, which featured many scenes of him nekkid and screwing...if I was feeling prettier, I'd totally go for it, although Google won't tell me if he's single.  He's very talented, I hope he gets all of the kudos and work that he deserves in the future.  I've also developed a girl-crush on Kerry Washington, she reminds me very much of Angelina Jolie, super sexy (not just sexy looking, like most young actresses) and capable of playing cool and calm or completely unhinged with amazing ease...maybe someone needs to cast her in an action film for her to get recognition that she deserves, although I've noticed her bagging more and more movies lately.



I'm not an AmeriCorps member any more.  I wasn't aware that I wasn't eligible for the education award this year - remaining with them would have meant loosing 1/3 of what isn't actually considered "income".  So I'm now a full on employee of PNOLA, which works out better for me.  I have a great health care plan now, and can afford the aforementioned treatment for the depression that's plagued me for so long.  I think 2011 is going to be the year that my life improves drastically, and I start achieving goals left and right.  It's been a slow build since 2007 - things are much better then they were then, or even just last year - but I can see things improving exponentially over the next year.  I can't wait.

Make Love, Not Porn

This is an interesting video.  I guess because I haven't had a lot of sexual experience yet, I never realized that some (many?) guys my age are highly influenced by pornography, to the point where they try to reenact their favorite moves.  Honestly, if I had been having sex when I was a teenager I probably would have been one of those girls who felt pressured to be a porn star for some stupid boy.  Now, however, don't do anything without getting permission.  I have a lot of pent up aggression to get out and a dog who can't wait to take a bite out of someone's ass.

From NWSO: Have You Ever Had a Perfect Jump-Off?

Have You Ever Had a Perfect Jump-Off? (My Special Friend): Courtesy of Dave Jackson

It started off as playful banter. Janice and I sat and talked for a while about how we kept missing each other. At some point in our lives we were always the odd person out in a relationship, but we still made “time” for each other—if you know what I mean. It [...]

*fans self*

Making Out

Heeee.  I got slobbed up...um...some number of days (or weeks) ago.  Being a late bloomer, I missed out on late nights necking in parents' cars.  I hadn't been kissed since February.  I need to shorten these periods of no physical contact.  They go on for so long that I start thinking I'm a virgin again...

For Those Who Don't Know...

This is a vagina! (Safe for work.)



H/T FunkyBrownChick

News Briefs: CNN Special, Classism in Housing, Katrina Books, Charity Mess Continues, Pot is Safer, 1614 Esplanade, Katrina and the Prez, Mayoral Warchests,1B1NO, Sex from the Inside

CNN To Air Katrina Anniversary Specials: CNN will air special segments focusing on rebuilding efforts in New Orleans this week.

Jarvis DeBarry on class-based discrimination in the rental market in New Orleans and St. Bernard Parish.

A few books on Katrina and her aftermath, New Orleans, or the South in general.

More info on the LSU Complex vs. Charity Hospital battle.  The revised plans are just wasteful.  There's half the number of buildings than was first proposed.  They want to pave people's homes over for parking and trees?

Pot is better, but you already knew that, didn't you?

Articles about President Obama and his promises to rebuild New Orleans, and the new New Orleans.

So far Murray leads with the most money raised for his mayoral race.  James Perry has raised the second highest amount of people who've declared candidacy, but Badon hasn't reported his winnings yet.

One Book, One New Orleans has chosen Gumbo Tales as it's book this year.

A friend of mine made a website for the co-op that he lives in.  These artist types, so creative.

Aaaaand, an MRI of a couple having sex.



I gotta say, I'm probably going to have the image in my head of him poking her insides around for a while.  Is the vaginal canal shorter than I imagined, or was he just really big?  Does this mean that when people have sex while pregnant, the penis really is poking the baby in the head (through the uterine wall)?  Ack!  Also, how much did the couple get paid to do this?

Some updates with me

I'm visiting my Mom in Maryland until Thursday and I can only pick up a wireless signal on the left side of my childhood twin bed, so posting will be a bit sparse.

She surprised me with church this morning, which is annoying. Even when I considered myself a Christian I didn't enjoy church, and while I'm not an athiest, I've seen and heard too much bad shit to trust organized religion. Also, if she'd told me before I got here, I could've at least packed an appropriate dress and shoes. I'll admit though, when the turbulence got bad on the plane ride over, I definitely prayed.

As I figured, the organic diet is not going to work here. I'm glad that I'm just starting it, and haven't completely crossed over yet.

I started reading World War Z during my 2 hour flight, and by the end of the day on Friday I had finished more than half of it. If the church service is too boring, I may whip it out. I took a break from it yesterday because someone with an imagination as overactive as mine really shouldn't be reading a realistic portrayal of the zombie war. I do want to adapt it into a film, however. And buy a gun. I'll review it when I'm done. I also have been putting off a review of District 9, which I saw on Wednesday.

I still want my fleur-de-lis tattoo, and hope that I can find a shop to do it for less than $100. I decided to wait until after my trip home so it would be completely healed when Mom comes for Christmas.

I'm feeling a little down about the acting thing. I jumped at the oppurtinuty to get $75 headshots throug a cultural center here, but I didn't really know what to expect and don't think I was prepared. I don't know if they're good enough to snag an agent. But if the pic I took with my BlackBerry has been good enough to get me cast as an extra (and an audition with Tremé), these will be good enough for me to get more of the same until I can afford better headshots. I also need to save up for acting classes and workshops. I haven't seen one advertised for less than $250. It seems like it wouldn't be worth it, but casting and talent agents sometimes observe these things and you can get work that way.

I've also been feeling down about my lack of a love life, but what the fuck else is new. I don't even want a "boyfriend", just someone to hang out and fool around with.

Lastly: I miss Biko. : (
Sent via BlackBerry by AT&T

Sex Talk with The Children

Since the closing of the Survivor Council, The FOC* that I was working with and I have continued to work with the kids who were a part of the after school program for two or three days a week. Most days it's just three girls who are nine, twelve, and twelve. Other days, one of the girls’ thirteen and fifteen year-old brothers come along. Last week we somehow got on the conversation of sex, I think because one of the girls (twelve, mind you) mentioned that her ex-boyfriend broke up with his new girlfriend because she wouldn’t come over to his house. This boy is fifteen, and the new girl (new ex girl?) is twelve. FOC responded that he probably wanted her to come over to have sex, and that he would have wanted her to do the same if they hadn’t broken up. She went on to talk about how she grew up having mostly male friends and how they always talked about how they wanted to marry virgins even though they were having sex with their current girlfriends, and how men don’t respect women who sleep around, but will always want and respect a woman who waits until she’s married.

I stayed silent through this conversation, because all I could think of saying is PLEASE FOR THE LOVE OF GOD NO FUCKING!!!!!!!!!!!!, and … something bothered me about her assertions, but I couldn’t put my finger on it until several days later. My approach with talking about sex with the kids is that 1: We definitely should do it, because looking at their families, if we leave it up to their parents they’ll all have babies before they’re sixteen. 2: We should be honest, because lying doesn’t teach them anything. And getting to the problem that I was having, 3: We should be realistic with what we tell them.

I realized that I don’t think that what she said was a very realistic way to approach sex with preteens, the same way that I think (and statistics support) that abstinence-only education in schools is completely unrealistic and doesn’t work. Obviously, these girls shouldn’t be having sex at their ages, but not because no man will ever want to marry them if they do. They shouldn’t be having sex because they are not physically, emotionally, and mentally mature enough to handle sex and the consequences of having sex, and that doesn’t just mean pregnancy or diseases. They aren’t mature enough to handle being told “I love you” and being left the morning after. They aren’t mature enough to handle a guy telling all of his friends that he had you, and all of those guys trying to get with you next and all of the girls calling you a slut. They aren’t mature enough to deal with this “sexting” nonsense. And they’re not even mature enough to deal with the best thing that they could find – a little puppy love.

But realistically, they all will probably be having sex before they’re sixteen, and I think giving them reasons within themselves to slow down is better than giving them reasons that involve what others think of them. Realistically, they are going to want to have sex, as soon as they meet a boy they like enough. People want to pretend that girls and women have no sex drive of their own, and it's all contingent on what they’re willing to “give” a man (and what he’s reciprocating with). Teenage girls are horny, too, trust me, I was one less than ten years ago. So what are they going to think when they start getting that good feeling when they kiss boys? That something must be wrong with them? That they’re bad, because good girls have no problems keeping their legs shut? I hate it when people reduce female sexuality to whether men think we should or shouldn’t be having sex: we’re either virgins, or we’re whores.

Now, I know that from the hood in NOLA to the white ‘burbs where FOC grew up, there are a lot of men who do divide women into those two camps. But, in my opinion, men who can only think of women in these terms are the kind of immature men who never develop a close and intimate relationship with a woman, even if they marry. If their only options are men like that, they should move out of New Orleans when they graduate and explore the world some, find out what kind of what kind of woman they want to be before they discover what kind of man they want.

I was twelve when I stopped thinking that my first would be the man that I marry. I thought, well, if sex is as fun as it looks on TV and in the movies, I may want to do it with more then just one man. When I was sixteen, I decided that my first would have to be someone who I was in love with and had been dating for at least six months, just to make sure that he wasn’t using me. I was about twenty when I realized that I didn’t even need for he and I to be in love because, frankly, I probably wouldn’t be able to wait six months or whatever anyway. And last year, I discovered that all I really wanted from men was respect. More would be awesome, but I was tired of holding out for … what? The sex shouldn’t be about the guy; him getting something from me, as though I’m not getting anything. Sex should be about what I want, and me wanting it. So my first time was about a month ago, with a guy who isn’t a boyfriend and has now moved to another state. We aren’t in love, but we definitely have a mutual respect, and I know that he cares a lot about me. I feel no guilt, no shame, no fear. And just because I’m not a virgin anymore, doesn’t make me a whore.

D.

*FOC = Former Organizing Coordinator