Shadow and Act tipped me off to a new web series called "Black Folk Don't..." Each episode finishes that phrase.
The first episode is "... Tip".
I really hate that stereotype, and I think that it tends to be more of a class thing then a race thing (but poor white people are invisible, so Black people have to take on the poor people burden). I grew up poor, but I had a friend who was a waitress and broke down the tipping thing to me when I finally had money to pay for my own meals at restaurants, and since then I hold pretty steady at 20%. Most of the young Black people who I've eaten out with tip about the same, but I've noticed having to compensate for older Black people when I go out and eat with them, so I wonder if it's also a generational thing. I also think the suggestion that it has to do with Black people not having gone to the same restaurants as white people until segregation ended is interesting. I wonder if waiters in Black restaurants back then had to live off it tips in the same way, or if they were just paid a fair hourly rate?
The second episode is "... Go to Therapy".
I'd agree that Black people do not go to therapy enough, though I wonder if this too, is a class thing that gets mixed up as a race thing. Poor people are expected to suffer in silence, and Black people especially have suffered for centuries with no mental aid, so it makes sense that a lot of Black people think that you should just be strong and go to church. I've been to therapy for depression, and I will probably go back before the year is out. I don't know if I will ever tell my mom this, because she'll probably just start looking for churches down here for me to go to or worse, start thinking that she should move down here. I think all people should go to therapy at some point in their lives, and if I ruled the world all poor neighborhoods would have free mental health care centers.
Showing posts with label Blackness. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Blackness. Show all posts
8.10.2011
5.01.2010
9.27.2009
Movies I'm Looking Forward To: Afro-Latinos
I actually think that this is a television series, but I want to hunt it down if possible. It wasn't until I was in college that I learned that there was such a thing as Black Latinos. Our public school system is a goddamn shame. We learn about such a small part of slavery and it's affects on the entire world, and then wonder why there's so much ignorance still around. This is a country that only in the past 5-10 years has stopped calling Latinos a race, and that still hasn't trickled down to it's populace.
7.22.2009
From The Black Snob: When is Black "Black" Redux
I didn't catch her first discussion of this topic, but I'm glad I read this one. This in particular stood out and made me think:
And so I spent most of my K-12 life as an outsider with few friends, all of whom were also outsiders who were different in some way from what Black people were "supposed to be". It wasn't until college that I met other Black people like me, who had white friends and watched "white" movies and listened to "white" music and read books about "white" things, without thinking of these things as abnormal or traitorous because they weren't trying to be white, they were exorcising their freedom to do whatever the fuck they wanted to without it being analyzed. Don't get me wrong, there are definitely Black people out there who wish they were white and try to imitate, but you're not going to be able to tell who they are by looking at their Ipod or their Netflix queue.
I hate, hate, hate, being put in a box. As if it isn't bad enough that some white people put Blacks into stereotypical boxes, we do it to ourselves, too, and it's at the point where I think that it affects how young Black people mold their entire lives. Leave that shit behind in high school! We're free now, but we're still slaves in our own minds, and I think that it's killing us.
Some boxes I don't fit in:
I don't read urban lit because it's a terribly written glorification of a life that most are struggling to escape. Instead, I read damn near anything that sounds interesting, no matter who writes it, which is why I have 2 main Amazon wish lists that have more than 100 books each in them just waiting to be devoured.
I listen to an eclectic mix of music that includes a little bit of everything but instrumental music, because I need to be able to sing off-key to whatever I listen to, and I'm shying away from rap and hip hop because I'm less able to ignore it's hatred of Black women.
The high majority of movies that I watch are by white writers, directors, and feature white actors. This is mainly because most of the movies produced are like this, but also because, well, frankly, most of the Black movies that Hollywood chooses to produce and promote suck donkey balls. There are some indies, like A Good Day to be Black and Sexy and others that I plan to watch, and some classics that are queued up that I'll be reviewing, and the occasional wonder that comes out and no one sees like The Great Debators, but overall? Suckville. I'm sure the good stuff is the stuff we never see, but Black Hollywood needs to form a collective and make some good movies that aren't romantic comedies, because I hate romantic comedies, even if they involve pretty Black people. Also? Can't stand that Tyler Perry shit, and he's the only director consistently hiring Blacktors and Blacktresses every year.
I date inter (and intra) racially. I've always liked men of all races; with most people, it usually depends on the people they spend most of their day with. When I was in elementary and middle schools, both mostly Black and Latino, I liked mostly Black guys. High school was high majority white, so I had crushes on white guys (who didn't know I existed). College was a grab bag; a white partner in acting class, an Indian TA, a Argentinean cutie, several Black guys, a couple of other Latinos...basically men of all races may apply, and I'm likely to date someone who I'm working with or, if I manage to create some sort of social life, someone who I'm friends with. I think that a genuine connection is something that is hard to come by nowadays, so why should I ignore a possible connection with someone of a different race because of what others will think?
My thoughts on interracial friendships are the same. Last year I had the experience of forcing a friendship with a Black woman (Smokey) where there wasn't really an instant connection, because we were doing hard work together that would have been much easier if we were close. Even though I care for her and believe that we're friends now, it wasn't real then for either of us. We don't have a lot in common. On the flip side, I started working with a white woman my age a couple of months ago and there was an instant friendship connection; when I start running my mouth about all sorts of random stuff (Like race! Without banging my head against a wall!), it means that I like you. Friend!
Basically, my goal in life is to die happy with the life that I've led. Not satisfied. I mean I'm-so-happy-take-me-Lord-there's-nothing-more-for-me-to-do-on-this-Earth happy. My own mother hasn't been able to keep me from making decisions that I think will lead to this happiness, so nobody's close minded box is going to keep me from it either.
My mother used to tell me that some black people still don't realize that they are free. That was often the problem I ran into. I realized I was free to go wherever I wanted, live however I wanted and befriend whomever I wanted...Unfortunately, a lot of the people I met were still in the box. They were not thinking as free people. They still saw the world in places they could and could not go. I was told I couldn't trust my best friend because she was white. I was told my love of sushi was abnormal...This has been my struggle my whole life. If you look at my profile pic, I'm clearly Black. But when I open my mouth my voice and manner of speech doesn't match what some people think a Black girl should sound like. My thing is, I don't believe in those boxes that a lot of Black people put themselves in. I don't talk like a white girl, I talk like someone who learned how to read when she was 4 and spent the next 20 years reading over 1,000 books and absorbing every bit of knowledge that she could comprehend.
And so I spent most of my K-12 life as an outsider with few friends, all of whom were also outsiders who were different in some way from what Black people were "supposed to be". It wasn't until college that I met other Black people like me, who had white friends and watched "white" movies and listened to "white" music and read books about "white" things, without thinking of these things as abnormal or traitorous because they weren't trying to be white, they were exorcising their freedom to do whatever the fuck they wanted to without it being analyzed. Don't get me wrong, there are definitely Black people out there who wish they were white and try to imitate, but you're not going to be able to tell who they are by looking at their Ipod or their Netflix queue.
I hate, hate, hate, being put in a box. As if it isn't bad enough that some white people put Blacks into stereotypical boxes, we do it to ourselves, too, and it's at the point where I think that it affects how young Black people mold their entire lives. Leave that shit behind in high school! We're free now, but we're still slaves in our own minds, and I think that it's killing us.
Some boxes I don't fit in:
I don't read urban lit because it's a terribly written glorification of a life that most are struggling to escape. Instead, I read damn near anything that sounds interesting, no matter who writes it, which is why I have 2 main Amazon wish lists that have more than 100 books each in them just waiting to be devoured.
I listen to an eclectic mix of music that includes a little bit of everything but instrumental music, because I need to be able to sing off-key to whatever I listen to, and I'm shying away from rap and hip hop because I'm less able to ignore it's hatred of Black women.
The high majority of movies that I watch are by white writers, directors, and feature white actors. This is mainly because most of the movies produced are like this, but also because, well, frankly, most of the Black movies that Hollywood chooses to produce and promote suck donkey balls. There are some indies, like A Good Day to be Black and Sexy and others that I plan to watch, and some classics that are queued up that I'll be reviewing, and the occasional wonder that comes out and no one sees like The Great Debators, but overall? Suckville. I'm sure the good stuff is the stuff we never see, but Black Hollywood needs to form a collective and make some good movies that aren't romantic comedies, because I hate romantic comedies, even if they involve pretty Black people. Also? Can't stand that Tyler Perry shit, and he's the only director consistently hiring Blacktors and Blacktresses every year.
I date inter (and intra) racially. I've always liked men of all races; with most people, it usually depends on the people they spend most of their day with. When I was in elementary and middle schools, both mostly Black and Latino, I liked mostly Black guys. High school was high majority white, so I had crushes on white guys (who didn't know I existed). College was a grab bag; a white partner in acting class, an Indian TA, a Argentinean cutie, several Black guys, a couple of other Latinos...basically men of all races may apply, and I'm likely to date someone who I'm working with or, if I manage to create some sort of social life, someone who I'm friends with. I think that a genuine connection is something that is hard to come by nowadays, so why should I ignore a possible connection with someone of a different race because of what others will think?
My thoughts on interracial friendships are the same. Last year I had the experience of forcing a friendship with a Black woman (Smokey) where there wasn't really an instant connection, because we were doing hard work together that would have been much easier if we were close. Even though I care for her and believe that we're friends now, it wasn't real then for either of us. We don't have a lot in common. On the flip side, I started working with a white woman my age a couple of months ago and there was an instant friendship connection; when I start running my mouth about all sorts of random stuff (Like race! Without banging my head against a wall!), it means that I like you. Friend!
Basically, my goal in life is to die happy with the life that I've led. Not satisfied. I mean I'm-so-happy-take-me-Lord-there's-nothing-more-for-me-to-do-on-this-Earth happy. My own mother hasn't been able to keep me from making decisions that I think will lead to this happiness, so nobody's close minded box is going to keep me from it either.
7.14.2009
Skin Politics Within the Black Community
Danielle Belton of The Black Snob writes about intraracial skin politics.
As you can see from my profile picture, I'm a dark-skinned girl. From my childhood through the time I was 19, I hated my skin color, and thought that I was so ugly that the only way that anyone would love me (platonically or romantically) was if I did everything I could to make them happy... at my own expense. The pros of this were that I worked more on developing my intelligence and personality, things that some girls who've been told that they're pretty their whole lives sometimes lack. The con, of course, is that to this day I tend to be a doormat, although I'm working to change this.
I think that the reason why I had so many issues with my appearance was because, besides not having any trusted adults or friends who wanted to lift my self-esteem, I was raised in front of the TV, and there wasn't then and aren't now many women on TV or in the movies who are Black, let alone with skin as dark as mine. In fact, I can name less than 5: Alfre Woodard, Viola Davis, Rutina Wesley from True Blood, Gabourey Sidibe from the upcoming movie Precious, and...that's all that I can think of right now.
People like to ignore the effects that the media can have on young minds, but TV, movies, and music are a reflection of the society that you live in, and it never depicts anyone who looks like you as attractive enough for romantic interest, why would you think that any other members of society find you attractive?
I think that my lift in self-esteem occurred because in college I found myself surrounded by Black people of all shapes, sizes, and colors who I thought were beautiful (the wonders of living in Ujamaa, may it never be taken away). Also around this time people started telling me that I was attractive (in a non-creepy way). And I took this picture:
First picture I ever took that I didn't cringe at. And so over the past five years my self-esteem has slowly grown, and this year it seems to be leaping exponentially, I guess because I'm spending more time with people who don't make me feel insecure and I don't feel like a weirdo outsider (although, that can be fun in it's own way). Part of the reason why I want to be an actress is because there aren't many out there who look like me, and I want all of the little dark-skinned Black girls out there see that they're beautiful, too.
As you can see from my profile picture, I'm a dark-skinned girl. From my childhood through the time I was 19, I hated my skin color, and thought that I was so ugly that the only way that anyone would love me (platonically or romantically) was if I did everything I could to make them happy... at my own expense. The pros of this were that I worked more on developing my intelligence and personality, things that some girls who've been told that they're pretty their whole lives sometimes lack. The con, of course, is that to this day I tend to be a doormat, although I'm working to change this.
I think that the reason why I had so many issues with my appearance was because, besides not having any trusted adults or friends who wanted to lift my self-esteem, I was raised in front of the TV, and there wasn't then and aren't now many women on TV or in the movies who are Black, let alone with skin as dark as mine. In fact, I can name less than 5: Alfre Woodard, Viola Davis, Rutina Wesley from True Blood, Gabourey Sidibe from the upcoming movie Precious, and...that's all that I can think of right now.
People like to ignore the effects that the media can have on young minds, but TV, movies, and music are a reflection of the society that you live in, and it never depicts anyone who looks like you as attractive enough for romantic interest, why would you think that any other members of society find you attractive?
I think that my lift in self-esteem occurred because in college I found myself surrounded by Black people of all shapes, sizes, and colors who I thought were beautiful (the wonders of living in Ujamaa, may it never be taken away). Also around this time people started telling me that I was attractive (in a non-creepy way). And I took this picture:
First picture I ever took that I didn't cringe at. And so over the past five years my self-esteem has slowly grown, and this year it seems to be leaping exponentially, I guess because I'm spending more time with people who don't make me feel insecure and I don't feel like a weirdo outsider (although, that can be fun in it's own way). Part of the reason why I want to be an actress is because there aren't many out there who look like me, and I want all of the little dark-skinned Black girls out there see that they're beautiful, too.
7.10.2009
Siditty Writes About the Valley Swim Club Incident
...and the limits of white liberalism. I should have figured that people would still find a way to say that the Valley Swim Club wasn't being racist. Several things of note:
Personal example: There is a girl that I've known since I was four and she was five. She's white, half Jewish. At some point during our friendship, she told me that I wasn't like most Black people, thinking that this was a compliment. I know many Black people who have had this same experience with non-Black friends. Non-Black people: This is totally not a compliment (except to Black people who hate being Black). It is not the thought that counts. And if you think it is, you may want to look at the above definitions of prejudiced and ignorant a little more closely. Now I don't think that she hates Black people, or that she's a secret member of the KKK, but this was certainly not the last ignorant comment that I heard from her regarding non-white people (which is partly why we're not really friends anymore). This means that she has race-based prejudices that lead her to make ignorant statements that make me want to backhand her.
On the point about Duesler, since he represents an institution (Valley Swim Club) he and they can be called racist, even if he, personally, is just an ignorant motherfucker (change the complexion? Really?).
- "...it goes back to my belief that most white people think racism is blatant KKK cross burning, and everything else is up in the air." -- Siditty
Personal example: There is a girl that I've known since I was four and she was five. She's white, half Jewish. At some point during our friendship, she told me that I wasn't like most Black people, thinking that this was a compliment. I know many Black people who have had this same experience with non-Black friends. Non-Black people: This is totally not a compliment (except to Black people who hate being Black). It is not the thought that counts. And if you think it is, you may want to look at the above definitions of prejudiced and ignorant a little more closely. Now I don't think that she hates Black people, or that she's a secret member of the KKK, but this was certainly not the last ignorant comment that I heard from her regarding non-white people (which is partly why we're not really friends anymore). This means that she has race-based prejudices that lead her to make ignorant statements that make me want to backhand her.
- "They actually defended Duesler, saying he was being railroaded by the media, and looking at his background as a Obama supporter and peace activist, he must be non racist." -- Siditty
On the point about Duesler, since he represents an institution (Valley Swim Club) he and they can be called racist, even if he, personally, is just an ignorant motherfucker (change the complexion? Really?).
7.09.2009
Latoya Peterson talks about Black Booty Body Politics
From Racialicious, Latoya Peterson writes about Black Booty Body Politics. As another black woman with a lot of booty, I can say nothing more than I relate and I agree.
7.03.2009
400 Years Without A Comb
400 Years Without A Comb
This is an interesting movie about Black hair that was posted on Shadow and Act. The acting is...well, awful for the most part, and I wish it were more of a documentary with interviews rather than a bunch of dramatizations of real issues and facts. But I found myself hearing a lot of things that I'd never heard before about black hair from slavery to the present. And it made me even more proud that I made the choice to go natural a couple of years ago.
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This is an interesting movie about Black hair that was posted on Shadow and Act. The acting is...well, awful for the most part, and I wish it were more of a documentary with interviews rather than a bunch of dramatizations of real issues and facts. But I found myself hearing a lot of things that I'd never heard before about black hair from slavery to the present. And it made me even more proud that I made the choice to go natural a couple of years ago.
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Short Film: African Booty Scratcher
I found this on Shadow and Act. I wish it were feature length, there needs to be a movie made about the relationship between Africans in America and Black Americans.
Short Shots – African Booty Scratcher
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African Booty Scratcher-Short Film by Nikyatu Jusu from Nikyatu Jusu on Vimeo.
Short Shots – African Booty Scratcher
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6.22.2009
Black Self-Identification
From Black Women Blow The Trumpet, this post really exposes the reality of how and why some Black people judge other Black people who don't fit their image of "blackness". I think she hits the nail on the head, and that's not to say that I haven't been guilty of this, too. I think that there is an overall insecurity in the Black community about "blackness", which is why we accept damn near anything from Black male celebrities and judge each other on how "Black" we are.
6.13.2009
It's Always the Black Women's Fault...
From What About Our Daughters?: What Chanequa Campbell Did Wrong at Harvard- How She Can Fix Things Now
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Issues like this worry me more and more every day. Over the past couple of years, now that I'm paying more attention, it's becoming clearer that Black women don't mean shit to anyone, sometimes not even ourselves. It makes me so sad to say this, but it seems like as far as the Black community is concerned, it's always the Black woman's fault. It was that girl's fault that R. Kelly is a pervert, it was Desiree Washington's fault that Mike Tyson raped her, it was the victim in the Dunbar Village rape case's fault that those boys savagely attacked her and her son, it's Chanequa Campbell's fault that some guy she knew killed another guy she knew, the list goes on and on.
I know that I'm generalizing. I bet that this happens in the white community, too. Women are always blamed for society's ills. But Blacks are a much smaller portion of this country, and it feels like we need to stick together more. When I look at all of the incidents...I just wonder when is it my turn. Actually, now that I think about it, I already may have gotten my turn.
See, last September when a mandatory evacuation was ordered in anticipation of Hurricane Gustav's impending arrival, I had no where to go and no way to do it (I can't drive. Still.). So I asked Smokey (formerly The FOC), who was my closest friend here and a coworker, if I could go with her wherever she decided to go. She said that she'd let me know whether whoever her and her husband were staying with would have room for me. This was the Thursday before Gustav hit on Monday, Sept. 1st. About an hour later, I get a call from her husband, who I'm not really friends with because he's always in a pissy mood, from her phone. Pissy tells me that his brother, Asshole, is on the line, and that he and Smokey have decided to go Asshole and wife's apartment in Baton Rouge to stay, and that he was sending Smokey away the next day, Friday. Three days before the hurricane would be here. But first they wanted to talk to me about something.
You see, I had a friend staying with me at the time, who we'll call Chicago White. He was evacuating back to Chicago, so there was no reason for him to be brought up other than the fact that over a year before this conversation, Chicago White and Asshole had fought over something stupid. According to both sides, the other had tried to kill them. Subconsciously, I think the fight was about Chicago White being white and going with a Black girl (me), and Asshole being jealous, and Chicago White doing that thing that white men do and being afraid of big Black guys like Asshole. Yeah, that kind of stupid. Anyway, Asshole wasn't aware that I was still friends with Chicago White (he, of course, learned this from Pissy), and asked me to choose between my friendship with Chicago White and GIVING ME SHELTER FROM A HURRICANE THAT COULD KILL ME. This is why his alias on this blog is Asshole. I should post his full fucking name, but I won't.
I chose my friendship, because if nothing else, I'm extremely loyal to people who I feel are my friends (and I never considered Asshole more than an acquaintance). So there it was. These people were the only people who I knew well enough to ask for help, and I was on my own with no escape from New Orleans because of a year and a half ago fight that did not directly involve me. The Black woman's fault. Asshole, a Black man, couldn't take that shit out on the White man who he was mad at, so he took it out on me. And I think that this is an overall problem in the Black community. Black men are so beaten down and demonized by everyone else, that the only ones who they can take it out on who no one will care about are Black women.
I ended up getting a ride from another of few friends, and stayed in a hotel in the Mississippi Delta. I didn't even hear from Smokey until she needed me to do something for her. Her excuse was that she didn't know what to do, so she just did what her husband told her to. I find it interesting that the most opinionated, strong-seeming women tend to be completely useless in emergency situations.
I spent a year and a half while I was working with The Organization feeling completely alone and being told that it was my fault because I wasn't close enough to Smokey. I should have left after the Gustav incident, but I stayed until the bitter end, to which you can read my badly written and probably confusing reaction in my very first post. I think I'm a masochist sometimes, the way that I let people treat me like a doormat, but I see myself growing out of it now. I'd rather people think I'm a bitch than feel the way I felt sitting in that hotel room watching Gustav footage on CNN. Feeling like Baton Rouge getting the eye of the storm was karmic justice for them, but also praying that no one got hurt and trying to call people to see if they were all okay.
I intended for this post to be my brief thoughts on the subject, and I kind of realized as I was writing that I had experienced this phenomenon myself. I do feel much better now getting this off of my chest, but I think I won't feel completely over it until I spend more time with other people in this city, or in California, which is probably my next destination. The most I've talked about this is with Smokey, who has since apologized, and her father-in-law (and Asshole and Pissy's father), who in a few short years has become the closes thing to a father that I know, apparently cussed them all out over leaving me behind. The problem is I WANT TO CUSS THEM OUT, still, but...I guess it feels better to have friends who I'm angry with than to be all alone in this big city.
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Issues like this worry me more and more every day. Over the past couple of years, now that I'm paying more attention, it's becoming clearer that Black women don't mean shit to anyone, sometimes not even ourselves. It makes me so sad to say this, but it seems like as far as the Black community is concerned, it's always the Black woman's fault. It was that girl's fault that R. Kelly is a pervert, it was Desiree Washington's fault that Mike Tyson raped her, it was the victim in the Dunbar Village rape case's fault that those boys savagely attacked her and her son, it's Chanequa Campbell's fault that some guy she knew killed another guy she knew, the list goes on and on.
I know that I'm generalizing. I bet that this happens in the white community, too. Women are always blamed for society's ills. But Blacks are a much smaller portion of this country, and it feels like we need to stick together more. When I look at all of the incidents...I just wonder when is it my turn. Actually, now that I think about it, I already may have gotten my turn.
See, last September when a mandatory evacuation was ordered in anticipation of Hurricane Gustav's impending arrival, I had no where to go and no way to do it (I can't drive. Still.). So I asked Smokey (formerly The FOC), who was my closest friend here and a coworker, if I could go with her wherever she decided to go. She said that she'd let me know whether whoever her and her husband were staying with would have room for me. This was the Thursday before Gustav hit on Monday, Sept. 1st. About an hour later, I get a call from her husband, who I'm not really friends with because he's always in a pissy mood, from her phone. Pissy tells me that his brother, Asshole, is on the line, and that he and Smokey have decided to go Asshole and wife's apartment in Baton Rouge to stay, and that he was sending Smokey away the next day, Friday. Three days before the hurricane would be here. But first they wanted to talk to me about something.
You see, I had a friend staying with me at the time, who we'll call Chicago White. He was evacuating back to Chicago, so there was no reason for him to be brought up other than the fact that over a year before this conversation, Chicago White and Asshole had fought over something stupid. According to both sides, the other had tried to kill them. Subconsciously, I think the fight was about Chicago White being white and going with a Black girl (me), and Asshole being jealous, and Chicago White doing that thing that white men do and being afraid of big Black guys like Asshole. Yeah, that kind of stupid. Anyway, Asshole wasn't aware that I was still friends with Chicago White (he, of course, learned this from Pissy), and asked me to choose between my friendship with Chicago White and GIVING ME SHELTER FROM A HURRICANE THAT COULD KILL ME. This is why his alias on this blog is Asshole. I should post his full fucking name, but I won't.
I chose my friendship, because if nothing else, I'm extremely loyal to people who I feel are my friends (and I never considered Asshole more than an acquaintance). So there it was. These people were the only people who I knew well enough to ask for help, and I was on my own with no escape from New Orleans because of a year and a half ago fight that did not directly involve me. The Black woman's fault. Asshole, a Black man, couldn't take that shit out on the White man who he was mad at, so he took it out on me. And I think that this is an overall problem in the Black community. Black men are so beaten down and demonized by everyone else, that the only ones who they can take it out on who no one will care about are Black women.
I ended up getting a ride from another of few friends, and stayed in a hotel in the Mississippi Delta. I didn't even hear from Smokey until she needed me to do something for her. Her excuse was that she didn't know what to do, so she just did what her husband told her to. I find it interesting that the most opinionated, strong-seeming women tend to be completely useless in emergency situations.
I spent a year and a half while I was working with The Organization feeling completely alone and being told that it was my fault because I wasn't close enough to Smokey. I should have left after the Gustav incident, but I stayed until the bitter end, to which you can read my badly written and probably confusing reaction in my very first post. I think I'm a masochist sometimes, the way that I let people treat me like a doormat, but I see myself growing out of it now. I'd rather people think I'm a bitch than feel the way I felt sitting in that hotel room watching Gustav footage on CNN. Feeling like Baton Rouge getting the eye of the storm was karmic justice for them, but also praying that no one got hurt and trying to call people to see if they were all okay.
I intended for this post to be my brief thoughts on the subject, and I kind of realized as I was writing that I had experienced this phenomenon myself. I do feel much better now getting this off of my chest, but I think I won't feel completely over it until I spend more time with other people in this city, or in California, which is probably my next destination. The most I've talked about this is with Smokey, who has since apologized, and her father-in-law (and Asshole and Pissy's father), who in a few short years has become the closes thing to a father that I know, apparently cussed them all out over leaving me behind. The problem is I WANT TO CUSS THEM OUT, still, but...I guess it feels better to have friends who I'm angry with than to be all alone in this big city.
Glossophilia - From The Angry Black Woman
I like these.
- I think the definition of racism that she gives is so perfectly simple, but says what so many people miss when talking (arguing) about racism.
- I know I have received honorary whiteness from several white friends when I was in middle and high school, and I agree that it is mostly unconscious.
- I like the term cluefulness. I've often struggled to come up with a word to describe white people who seem to understand racial issues much better than their counterparts. I can't bring myself to call it "understanding" because I think that, even in situations where whites may experience discrimination from non-whites, they can never understand the system of advantage that they benefit from, and what it's like to be held down by it.
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- I think the definition of racism that she gives is so perfectly simple, but says what so many people miss when talking (arguing) about racism.
- I know I have received honorary whiteness from several white friends when I was in middle and high school, and I agree that it is mostly unconscious.
- I like the term cluefulness. I've often struggled to come up with a word to describe white people who seem to understand racial issues much better than their counterparts. I can't bring myself to call it "understanding" because I think that, even in situations where whites may experience discrimination from non-whites, they can never understand the system of advantage that they benefit from, and what it's like to be held down by it.
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6.03.2009
Dreamworlds 3: Desire, Sex, and Power in Music Videos
Found this...somewhere. Oooops. I'd been hearing about it for a while, so was excited that it could be previewed for free. That said, it really lays out everything that I've begun to feel about music videos and hip hop culture.
+ I never realized how pervasive these images are in videos. I guess, because I came of age watching them, that I just thought it was normal. I realize now that there aren't many music videos that I can think of that don't have unrealistic sexual images of women.
+ I think its ridiculous how so many female artists have become the video "hos" in their own videos. It's like they don't realize who buys their records. The straight male viewers who they're shaking their asses for ARE NOT BUYING THEIR ALBUMS, for the most part. So who cares if men think that they're hot? Now, I don't think that every one who the narrator mentions are just trying to appeal to the male gaze. Janet Jackson did start off innocent and become...freaky, but I think that the freakiness is all her, not just an act for the cameras. I kind of feel the same way about Christina Aguilera, but she may just be fucked up in the head.
+ I've always been someone to deny how much the media affects our behavior, but good Lord, I wonder now. I always thought that nothing can make a man behave in the ways that this movie shows (groping women, tearing their clothes off, etc.), that men who do this are just sexist assholes. But I see now how being inundated with images of a "dreamworld" where all women are ready and willing can make a teenager (or loser) who has little experience with real women outside of their families think that all women want this, especially if they're dressed similarly to the women in the videos.
+ Is this why men get pissed when I don't respond to their rude comments on the street? Because they think that, as a young black woman, I must want to fuck them because we're all nymphos? But these men tend to be older, old enough to be my father, in fact, so why would they be so influence by music and videos made by men half their age?
+ I'm debating deleting the few Snoop Dogg songs that I have, after all of that "another bitch broke" stuff. I should, the only one that I would miss is "Drop It Like It's Hot".
+ Those comments at the end by "real" men are really frightening. And of course, the fact that 1 in 6 (although I've always heard 1 in 3) women are sexually assaulted. Either way, it means that it's just luck that I've never been a victim, that no one ever wanted to "take me down a peg".
+ I never realized how pervasive these images are in videos. I guess, because I came of age watching them, that I just thought it was normal. I realize now that there aren't many music videos that I can think of that don't have unrealistic sexual images of women.
+ I think its ridiculous how so many female artists have become the video "hos" in their own videos. It's like they don't realize who buys their records. The straight male viewers who they're shaking their asses for ARE NOT BUYING THEIR ALBUMS, for the most part. So who cares if men think that they're hot? Now, I don't think that every one who the narrator mentions are just trying to appeal to the male gaze. Janet Jackson did start off innocent and become...freaky, but I think that the freakiness is all her, not just an act for the cameras. I kind of feel the same way about Christina Aguilera, but she may just be fucked up in the head.
+ I've always been someone to deny how much the media affects our behavior, but good Lord, I wonder now. I always thought that nothing can make a man behave in the ways that this movie shows (groping women, tearing their clothes off, etc.), that men who do this are just sexist assholes. But I see now how being inundated with images of a "dreamworld" where all women are ready and willing can make a teenager (or loser) who has little experience with real women outside of their families think that all women want this, especially if they're dressed similarly to the women in the videos.
+ Is this why men get pissed when I don't respond to their rude comments on the street? Because they think that, as a young black woman, I must want to fuck them because we're all nymphos? But these men tend to be older, old enough to be my father, in fact, so why would they be so influence by music and videos made by men half their age?
+ I'm debating deleting the few Snoop Dogg songs that I have, after all of that "another bitch broke" stuff. I should, the only one that I would miss is "Drop It Like It's Hot".
+ Those comments at the end by "real" men are really frightening. And of course, the fact that 1 in 6 (although I've always heard 1 in 3) women are sexually assaulted. Either way, it means that it's just luck that I've never been a victim, that no one ever wanted to "take me down a peg".
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